Joined: Mar 17, 2005
Location: Staten Island
|Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:32 pm Post subject: REFLECTIONS ON 9/11/07
From Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:00 am to Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:59 am (included)
|Well, another anniversary has come and gone bringing with it a whirl wind of emotions. For some reason the anxiety & sleeplessness started to hit a couple of weeks before the Sixth Anniversary which for me was a change because I had a period from Sept. 7th-13th that was my pattern. A great deal of emotional release came on September 9th, 2007 at the Freedom Flight Kite tribute in Long Beach; I think reality truly hit me. I paid homage to my friends & coworkers who were lost on September 11th and post 9-11-01 when I read their names on September 11th, 2007. This truly wiped me out and I slept for two days afterwards because my body was tapped out. Recouping took a couple of more days physically and with this a surge of Rage hit the surface and I have been riding the rollercoaster. As my nervous system has quieted down, I have identified my triggers and work through this emotionalism; I find myself in a great deal of sadness. Yes, we have all heard of Kubler-Ross' Stages of Grief and the affects of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome; I am not alone or think I am unique. My sadness comes from observing individuals in many organizations turning on one another and not doing what is for the greater good of all, not abiding by their mission statements, hurting one another & dividing a community that already has difficulty working with each other to achieve the common goal: assist those affected by 9-11-01 and their families to protect what an individuals rights to proper care, benefits, etc. I am sickened by the statements from some leaders of organizations; "we cannot work with.... because they don't...."; to establish a consortium of organizations to show power in numbers is out of the question! If our loved ones, friends and coworkers looked down to view this situation it would break their hearts; do you think they would want any of us to struggle?! Sept. 11th has fragmented everyone; where is the common ground to celebrate those individuals who lived and will live forever in spirit; there are so many masses, ceremonies and dedications that it has us scattered. So, the hierarchical structures continue to reign and dictate how issues need to be resolved. What has happened to THE UNITED STATES? (WE THE PEOPLE....) THE CONSTITUTION?, THE BILL OF RIGHTS? etc.
I acknowledge all the hard work organizations have put into making progress and how many individuals have been helped. I respect those individuals who have put their heart and soul into an organization, the monies that have come out of their own pocket and personal sacrifice. I commend those who put countless hours into assisting those individuals in crisis and give an individual a sense of HOPE.
The after affects of September 11th, 2001 has caused a plague that will scar more families and the horror stories of what has happened to families will not dissipate. We need constructive solutions to move forward, NOW!
I am not on a soap box; this is a sad reality. My experience has had me walk away from organizations and resign from boards; we need to realize that the first five letters of HUMANITY is HUMAN and we are missing the mark!
I think a lot of people are forgetting it is WE THE PEOPLE, This past few weeks a few of our "advocates" have shown their true colors - they are in it for the money and fame. We are just a stepping stone, trash to be thrown away - I really feel they hope we will die so they can get another headline.
These "advocates" are in it for themselves, the sad part is none of them did any time down there. So we are left as trash, debris waiting to be buried along with the towers. I had someone ask; who asked me to be an voice for the sick; Well I am one! I was there! My family and I pay that price every day. I did my duty and I sent people down to the site to work. Now they are getting sick and it is my responsibility as an officer and as a person to try and help in anyway I can. I am a voice and sometimes a voice of the few who do try to speak. Bonnie, Marvin, John, and I are not old news and have been over done in the press. We are just trying to get help for us and the others who are sick from the trade center, and is what we feel we have to do.
If we do not stand together, we will die alone. We do not need promises, we need someone to do something. Get us the health care we need now. Waiting 10 weeks for authorization for surgery or 19 weeks for authorization for a CT scan is wrong. Press conferences and rallies are nice but they need to be followed by real action, not just another bill or another press conference. Without real help we will be gone.
I am scheduled for my 9th surgery (GI) and 10th surgery (sinus again) in October. I am still losing lung function and the other medical problems are getting worse. Many times I am too sick to go to these rallies, press conferences, and meetings. I am still here and trying to help.
I had the honor of reading the names at Ground Zero this year. I spoke right after Bonnie. I was surprised how little the turn out from the Rescuers was this year. I laid four roses at the base of the Towers, a yellow one for John Eishler, A red one for Carlos Lillo, A white one for George Howard, and a white one for Tommy Langone. My sons had placed roses for all of the lost.